Two Years

On Monday, Ryan and I will celebrate our second wedding anniversary.

It’s funny how everyone has advice for new couples. Here are 20 things that I think every couple should know that I’ve learned already or believe to be true.

1. Say “I love you” at every opportunity.
2. Never threaten divorce. Ever. It’s not even funny as a joke.
3. If it bugs you, say something. Then let it go.
4. Screw the cynics. Yes, marriage stats say 50% fail. That means there’s another 50% that stay together. Chances are, you know a happily married couple.
5. Just because a couple is happily married, doesn’t mean they’re newlyweds.
6. Marriages take work, but loving someone easy.
7. Your spouse will do things that you’d love to tell your friends, but sometimes you have to respect your spouse enough not to share all.
8. Your family might be your biggest supporters, but sometimes they can create the most stress. (You’ll get your grandchildren when we’re ready, damn it!)
9. Sometimes you need to go to bed mad, but take the time to figure it out in the morning.
10. I’m sorry is a necessary phrase in your vocabulary, but sometimes it sucks saying it.
11. Little things matter. Big things matter more.
12. Making your spouse’s day may make yours.
13. There’s nothing worse than seeing someone you love hurting when there’s nothing you can do to make it better.
14. Fight fair. No name calling. No screaming. No threatening. Talk about the problem and what you think could make it right.
15. Trust each other, and don’t give the other person a reason not to trust you.
16. Work hard. Play hard. Enjoy doing both of these together. (This doesn’t mean you have to work at the same place.)
17. Respect boundaries.
18. You won’t always share the same values, but respecting each other’s values is critical.
19. Have hobbies you enjoy together and others that you do on your own.
20. Be happy with today. You can plan for the future, but don’t obsess over it or wish away time.

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